Million Dollar Baby

Today Daddy nicknamed me the "Million Dollar Baby". Before I was known as the "Miracle Baby" because it was a miracle that Mommy found someone like Daddy and also that Mommy got pregnant so quickly...I was a Maui Miracle.

Well Daddy spoke with the hospital finance department today and got an estimate of my current bill for the 36 days I have spent in the NICU....over half a million dollars for hospital charges but that includes my surgery and all the extra special care I've gotten! I get 24/7 attention from all the wonderful NICU nurses, who are all so kind and sweet even when they poke me with needles. I have great Respiratory Tech's who suck the boogers out of my nose and help me breath better. I have fantastic nurse practitioners, neonatologist and hospitalist doctors who make sure I get the best treatments and medicines to make me comfortable (more fentanyl please) and help grow. I get excellent housekeeping staff that keep the NICU spotless. I have attentive ward clerks that make sure visitor are checked and everyone practices good hygiene. I have caring social workers who check up on how Mommy and Daddy are doing makes sure they know what services are available. When the Hospital CEO stopped by for a visit two weeks ago, Daddy and I told him he should be very proud of the NICU team and how empathetic and professional everyone is in helping the families through this stressful time.

To put the costs in perspective, I think staying in the NICU at CPMC would be like staying in a fantasy suite at the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas. I checked and the Real World Suite (where the cast of MTV's Real World lived in 2006) costs $5k per night Sun-Thurs and $10k per night Fri-Sat...so that's $45K per week or $6428 per night. My average daily cost in the NICU is $6991 per day full service food and fentanyl...those would be extra at the Palms. So I am like a Baby Rockstar living it up in the NICU like Paris Hilton does Vegas....but I am cuter and my videos are better!

By the time I have to leave the NICU, I am sure that the hospital charges and physician services bills combined will be over a million dollars but Mommy and Daddy think I am worth every penny and more! So I told Daddy today that when (not if) he loses the Biggest Loser/Gainer Challenge...he only has to get my a Toyota Prius for my 16th birthday.